Thursday, December 27, 2007

RFDTV

So, here it is. My 20th entry. I've learned a lot about blogging in the past few weeks. I've learned my strong suits. I've figured out what I need to work on. And I've figured out what I need to stay away from.

I initially conceptualized this space of mine as being more of a private zone where I could come, get away and jot down all of the funny things that have happened to me over the past 24 hours. Something has occurred to me, though. Either nothing funny happens to me anymore or it takes more than a few hours for me to determine if its a worthwhile memory or not. So, after a few hit or miss first posts, I've started filtering my current event stories in lieu of random old memories, top ten lists or just general clevernesses.

I'm not sure if Christmas was funny or not, yet. Both events of this divorced child's holiday featured evolved traditions. It was interesting to celebrate with my father's side at my grandmother's new house. For the previous 26 years, it was somewhere else or something. That's not important though. Time will tell if that ongoing blow job joke that everyone was riffing on will become a true holiday staple or not. As for my mother's side, I would wager that we'll tune in again to watch the Johnnie High Christmas Show next year, but we'll probably pretend to not hear it when my mother's boyfriend suggests that we watch the latest Larry The Cable Guy special. All I can remember is my grandmother sprawled, passed out on the floor after that hour was over. As that sweet ass Christmas dinner approaches, you can only hear so many terrorist, indigestion and "San Francisco" jokes before you're just not hungry anymore.

So, I just glossed over the Johnnie High Country Music Revue there, but I shouldn't have. Did you click on that link? This show was ridiculously amazing. Check out the Bios and fun facts!

The show is anchored by these vets:

John Sharp
  • the ultimate "stylist"
  • can't remember the last time he was serious about anything







Kristy Stuble
  • lots of laundry and cooking
  • introduced to husband by Johnnie High, who loves to play matchmaker







Mike Stewart

  • aka 'Earl' from Burnt Mattress, Arkansas, just above Hot Springs
  • proud grandfather
  • official cane carrier




Then there's the young whipper snappers!


Michael Hix
  • "dances like Michael Jackson, entertains like Elvis, sings like a superstar!*"
  • gives a thumps up to the cameraman a lot


* where superstar=Aaron Neville




Ashley Smith
(pictured with her Pa-Paw, Johhnie High)

  • Performed a lead role in a nationally televised "Made for TV" movie in 2006
  • isn't very good




I wish Comcast would jump on the RFD-TV bandwagon. I assume that RFD stands for Rural Free Delivery, but I should'nt say that with any degree of certainty. They don't tell you on their website. You're just supposed to know. They don't want any city folk. That said, I wouldn't need TiVo anymore if I had this station. They have a lot of country music programming...stuff from the archives and brand new shows. The brilliant part is that their current production quality is so neolithic, that you're never sure if its a live feed or something that Philo Farnsworth had thrown together. Another third of their airtime is dedicated to farming shows, although I haven't seen any of those yet. And the final third is all about the CHAT show. They're bringing Imus back!

Then, there's Crook and Chase, whom are described as "two of television's most beloved and recognizable personalities." They're bringing them back too! In one of the commercials, Crook accuses Chase of having a "weird sense of humor." [I should state that I'm just assuming which one is Crook and which one is Chase, based solely on how they position themselves on the screen.] Well, if Crook thinks Chase is weird...wait until she meets this guy!



After that clip, you'll agree when the press release explains that C&C "gives [their audience] the pizzazz of showbiz, but also a personal connection to the stars they love." Writer's strike be damned. Color me interested!

4 comments:

Laundre said...

Umm... Why did you neglect to point out that Michael Hix is aka "Wildman??"

Chris said...

Does it say that somewhere? If so, then that's a glaring mistake on my behalf. Or did you go to high school with him?

Laundre said...

Yeah, under the bios on that page you linked to it says "Michael Hix, aka "Wildman", has been named "Entertainer of the Year" more times than any performer on the JHCMR. A banker by day, Michael never fails to bring the crowd to it's feet with performances ranging from Dwight Yoakum to Little Richard."

Chris said...

How did I miss "banker by day"?