RFDTV

So, here it is. My 20th entry. I've learned a lot about blogging in the past few weeks. I've learned my strong suits. I've figured out what I need to work on. And I've figured out what I need to stay away from.

I initially conceptualized this space of mine as being more of a private zone where I could come, get away and jot down all of the funny things that have happened to me over the past 24 hours. Something has occurred to me, though. Either nothing funny happens to me anymore or it takes more than a few hours for me to determine if its a worthwhile memory or not. So, after a few hit or miss first posts, I've started filtering my current event stories in lieu of random old memories, top ten lists or just general clevernesses.

I'm not sure if Christmas was funny or not, yet. Both events of this divorced child's holiday featured evolved traditions. It was interesting to celebrate with my father's side at my grandmother's new house. For the previous 26 years, it was somewhere else or something. That's not important though. Time will tell if that ongoing blow job joke that everyone was riffing on will become a true holiday staple or not. As for my mother's side, I would wager that we'll tune in again to watch the Johnnie High Christmas Show next year, but we'll probably pretend to not hear it when my mother's boyfriend suggests that we watch the latest Larry The Cable Guy special. All I can remember is my grandmother sprawled, passed out on the floor after that hour was over. As that sweet ass Christmas dinner approaches, you can only hear so many terrorist, indigestion and "San Francisco" jokes before you're just not hungry anymore.

So, I just glossed over the Johnnie High Country Music Revue there, but I shouldn't have. Did you click on that link? This show was ridiculously amazing. Check out the Bios and fun facts!

The show is anchored by these vets:

John Sharp

• the ultimate "stylist"
• can't remember the last time he was serious about anything

Kristy Stuble

• lots of laundry and cooking
• introduced to husband by Johnnie High, who loves to play matchmaker

Mike Stewart

• aka 'Earl' from Burnt Mattress, Arkansas, just above Hot Springs
• proud grandfather
• official cane carrier

Then there's the young whipper snappers!


Michael Hix

• "dances like Michael Jackson, entertains like Elvis, sings like a superstar!*"
• gives a thumps up to the cameraman a lot

* where superstar=Aaron Neville



Ashley Smith
(pictured with her Pa-Paw, Johhnie High)

• Performed a lead role in a nationally televised "Made for TV" movie in 2006
• isn't very good
  

I wish Comcast would jump on the RFD-TV bandwagon. I assume that RFD stands for Rural Free Delivery, but I should'nt say that with any degree of certainty. They don't tell you on their website. You're just supposed to know. They don't want any city folk. That said, I wouldn't need TiVo anymore if I had this station. They have a lot of country music programming...stuff from the archives and brand new shows. The brilliant part is that their current production quality is so neolithic, that you're never sure if its a live feed or something that Philo Farnsworth had thrown together. Another third of their airtime is dedicated to farming shows, although I haven't seen any of those yet. And the final third is all about the CHAT show. They're bringing Imus back!

Then, there's Crook and Chase, whom are described as "two of television's most beloved and recognizable personalities." They're bringing them back too! In one of the commercials, Crook accuses Chase of having a "weird sense of humor." [I should state that I'm just assuming which one is Crook and which one is Chase, based solely on how they position themselves on the screen.] Well, if Crook thinks Chase is weird...wait until she meets this guy!



After that clip, you'll agree when the press release explains that C&C "gives [their audience] the pizzazz of showbiz, but also a personal connection to the stars they love." Writer's strike be damned. Color me interested!

Hanging out with bloggers

Hello,

[editor's note: sorry for all of the italics and commas in this one]

You all might not know this, but once you're deep in the Blogger Community, there's some certain lingo that you inevitably pick up. I'll delve into the lesserknowns in some other blog (once I learn them), but I'll fill you in on the most important one first. You see, when you're hanging out with your blogger friends at a drinking bar, as a point of entry into a blog-based conversation, one of you must say, "I'm digging the blog." Then that opens up the door to all sorts of stuff.

The humorous coda to this pointless entry is this: Last night at the bar, a longtime blogging friend said "I'm digging the blog" to me. Being that this was the first that I had heard of this phrase, I misheard him as saying, "I'm dating a blond." Which he is, but I knew this, so it seemed like an odd ice-breaker to me. I gave him the old Its like you don't even know me cold shoulder for the rest of the night.

Later in the night, after I had realized the trick that my ears had played on me, I tried my luck with this great one-liner to one-half of my new favorite blogging tandem. And low-and-behold, his response was, "When did you go to the Block??!?"

Okay, now you try!

Areas of Expertise

What am I going to do with this space? I don't have a crazy amount of knowledge or insight into any specific area of life. So, I expect this blog to be a cornucopia of somewhat sensible musings on things that I enjoy.

Maybe I'll offer my thoughts on the MLB Winter Meetings. Maybe I'll post a few half-assed record reviews. Maybe I'll tell you about my walk to work. Maybe I'll tell you what happened on Journeyman last night.

With the exception of this particular post, all entries are guaranteed to start uber-strong, only to fade into nothingness with nary a conclusion.

My First Blogging Mistake

Hello Blogging World,

Whenever I sign up for a new service, I spend an inordinate amount of time perusing the "Settings" tab. I'm a real sucker for customization. Oddly though, my blog currently looks like every other blog you've ever seen. I feel like I made some good "Settings" decisions, but where are the fruits of my labor? Was it all for nill?

I discovered almost immediately that my first terrible mistake at Blogger.com was when I checked a little box next to something that said "Show transliteration button for your posts?" I'll be the first to admit that I have very little understanding as to what transliteration means, but it seemed like a feature that would make my blog seem more worldly, so I absolutely had to have it. Well, it turns out that this transliteration business is just fancy talk for turn your blog into gibberish. Instantly. I've since turned it off.

These guys know what I'm talking about. Am I right, people??!?

No, but really, I mean no offense to the Hindi language.