TiVo DeTermination

Hello World.

So, if you know anything about me, its probably that I love television and that TiVo is a sacred golden god that I bow to nightly. I've been TiVoing for about three years now and over that time, my love of television has only grown. If you don't know much about Tivo other than that its a hard disk VCR, one of the biggest perks is setting up a "Season Pass" for your favorite series. The TiVo will automatically record every episode of said season. First run. Repeats. You decided what it does.

I won't say how many series that I have Season Passes set up for, but I'll say that its a lot. And I can't say that all of these series are my favorites. But I watch a lot of television late at night and early in the morning and since I have the disk space to record a lot of junk, why not fill it up with as many options as possible?

So working under that philosophy, before last night, I've only had the occasion of deleting one Season Pass. Jericho. This show just tried my patience. It was a prime time soap opera trying to mask itself as this intense thoughtful government conspiracy. I didn't buy it. But I gave it ten episodes to prove me wrong. It didn't, so I deleted it. Of course, after a few months, I got bored and decided to download the rest of the season and watched them all across two or three days. Now, I've been TiVoing and watching Season Two, which is trying my patience even more and could very well be the first Season Pass that I delete twice.

But first. I'm deleting my Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Season Pass. I knew the moment had come when I realized that my favorite character was played by Brian Austin Green.




Apparently, there are people who think that the Terminator story has one of the deepest seeded mythologies in the history of Hollywood. I enoyed me some T2: Judgment Day, but I've fallen asleep every time I've tried to watch the first one and I break a household object every time I try to watch this show. I could care less if John Connor saves us from the machines in twenty years.

Its just dumb. The characters are stupid. After eight hours, you'd think that someone would have to seem interesting. That's all it takes for me. If I can look forward to the screen time of just one character, I'm with you until the bitter end. But there's nothing here.

Last week was when I really started having my doubts. Brian Austin Green is from the future. He meets a guy in the future who he decides that he needs to kill. So, he jumps back to the past (our time) and kills this guy. But even after he kills the guy, he's still having "memories" of the future where he's hanging out with this guy. Paradox! Its a paradox!

If this was Lost, the writers would be wanting us to ask, "Why does this dead guy still appear in the future world?" The answer to that question would be an important piece to the overall puzzle. The Terminator writers are just hoping that we don't notice. I noticed! Paradox!!

But, what's my least favorite part of the show? The Sarah Connor narration. I tune in and out of it when it starts because I know its pointless drivel about how special her boy is. The writers want us to think its poignant, but if you catch yourself listening to it, you'll just hear something like, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. When I die, I want to be buried in the earth."

I'll starting writing about songs again soon.

RFDTV

So, here it is. My 20th entry. I've learned a lot about blogging in the past few weeks. I've learned my strong suits. I've figured out what I need to work on. And I've figured out what I need to stay away from.

I initially conceptualized this space of mine as being more of a private zone where I could come, get away and jot down all of the funny things that have happened to me over the past 24 hours. Something has occurred to me, though. Either nothing funny happens to me anymore or it takes more than a few hours for me to determine if its a worthwhile memory or not. So, after a few hit or miss first posts, I've started filtering my current event stories in lieu of random old memories, top ten lists or just general clevernesses.

I'm not sure if Christmas was funny or not, yet. Both events of this divorced child's holiday featured evolved traditions. It was interesting to celebrate with my father's side at my grandmother's new house. For the previous 26 years, it was somewhere else or something. That's not important though. Time will tell if that ongoing blow job joke that everyone was riffing on will become a true holiday staple or not. As for my mother's side, I would wager that we'll tune in again to watch the Johnnie High Christmas Show next year, but we'll probably pretend to not hear it when my mother's boyfriend suggests that we watch the latest Larry The Cable Guy special. All I can remember is my grandmother sprawled, passed out on the floor after that hour was over. As that sweet ass Christmas dinner approaches, you can only hear so many terrorist, indigestion and "San Francisco" jokes before you're just not hungry anymore.

So, I just glossed over the Johnnie High Country Music Revue there, but I shouldn't have. Did you click on that link? This show was ridiculously amazing. Check out the Bios and fun facts!

The show is anchored by these vets:

John Sharp

• the ultimate "stylist"
• can't remember the last time he was serious about anything

Kristy Stuble

• lots of laundry and cooking
• introduced to husband by Johnnie High, who loves to play matchmaker

Mike Stewart

• aka 'Earl' from Burnt Mattress, Arkansas, just above Hot Springs
• proud grandfather
• official cane carrier

Then there's the young whipper snappers!


Michael Hix

• "dances like Michael Jackson, entertains like Elvis, sings like a superstar!*"
• gives a thumps up to the cameraman a lot

* where superstar=Aaron Neville



Ashley Smith
(pictured with her Pa-Paw, Johhnie High)

• Performed a lead role in a nationally televised "Made for TV" movie in 2006
• isn't very good
  

I wish Comcast would jump on the RFD-TV bandwagon. I assume that RFD stands for Rural Free Delivery, but I should'nt say that with any degree of certainty. They don't tell you on their website. You're just supposed to know. They don't want any city folk. That said, I wouldn't need TiVo anymore if I had this station. They have a lot of country music programming...stuff from the archives and brand new shows. The brilliant part is that their current production quality is so neolithic, that you're never sure if its a live feed or something that Philo Farnsworth had thrown together. Another third of their airtime is dedicated to farming shows, although I haven't seen any of those yet. And the final third is all about the CHAT show. They're bringing Imus back!

Then, there's Crook and Chase, whom are described as "two of television's most beloved and recognizable personalities." They're bringing them back too! In one of the commercials, Crook accuses Chase of having a "weird sense of humor." [I should state that I'm just assuming which one is Crook and which one is Chase, based solely on how they position themselves on the screen.] Well, if Crook thinks Chase is weird...wait until she meets this guy!



After that clip, you'll agree when the press release explains that C&C "gives [their audience] the pizzazz of showbiz, but also a personal connection to the stars they love." Writer's strike be damned. Color me interested!