Neverending String Dream 2008 Parts 5 and 6

So, I forgot to tell you, but I had the string dream last week again. Forgettable circumstances.

And then, last night I had another one. This time, the string was coming from a tiny hole right behind my top two front teeth. By "top two" I mean literally the top two. Not my favorite two teeth. Although if I had to pick my favorite teeth, it would probably also be those two.

For the first time ever, I tried to cut the string with a pair of scissors. I knew it wouldn't totally solve the problem, but if I could cut it close enough so that it wouldn't be that noticeable to my tongue, I would have been fine with it. Of course, it was really hard to cut the string and for the most part, I didn't succeed. The string would fold horizontally along with the blades so it wouldn't cut. It was a similar feeling to when I was a young left-handed child attempting to use right-handed scissors.

There was also another sub-plot where a bunch of friends and I were running up the stairs of a 26 story building try to figure out why each level seemed so "dream-like." There was a narrator who was trying to convince us that it was a dream and that in order to wake up, we needed to jump off the building. No fucking way, dude! I wound up waking up by simply sleeping enough.

The narrator/kill yourself storyline was inspired by a popular television series with a title based on a popular "glam rock" song name. I won't tell you which show/song it was because it might spoil it if you ever decide to check it out.

This was not a cry for help. I'm fine!!!

Neverending String Dream Tally 2008: 6

Friday Quickfire #1

Hey guys. I just want to talk.

The girl behind me at Donna's ordered a bagel. As I was fixing up my coffee, I heard the barista ask the bagel girl the following question:

"Did we discuss putting cream cheese on your bagel?"

Anything goes!

Office Water Cooler #2

Topic Two: Let's say its raining outside. Since you left your umbrella at home, you want to put the hood of your sweatshirt up in order to shield yourself from the rain.

How do you respond when a coworker says, "Man, when you put your hood up, you look even more like a stalker!" ?



Discuss below.

One Step over the Finkeline

At what point do I decide that Doctor Finkelstein or his older brother have crossed that doctor/patient no-no line?


Listen here. Its not much.

Catching up with the Finkmeister

Dr. Finkelstein called again today. Sounded like his office was pretty busy. He barely had a chance to ask me if I had taken my meds before his big brother got on the line to say, "Who dis?"

Of course, I responded, "I don't know. Who dis?" Then he hung up.

Conversations With Dr. Finkelstein

I didn't do much on Saturday night, but here's what did happen.

[Ring...ring.]

Call #1 (8:38 PM EST)

Me: Hello?

Kid Stranger: [rustling]

Me: Hello?

Kid Stranger: Who this?

Me: Chris.

Kid Stranger: [rustling]

Me : [click]

Call #2 (8:40 PM EST)

[I don't answer.]

Voicemail from Kid Stranger: Chris? [click]

Call #3 (8:41 PM EST)

Me: Hello?

KS: Hello?

Me: I think you have the wrong number.

KS: Is this Chris?

Me: Yes

KS: Chris, this is your doctor calling.

Me: Okay.

KS: I was calling to, uh, tell you, uh, that you have a high blood pressure.

Me: Okay

KS: And that's not good.

Me: I know.

KS: [rustling]

Me: Okay, well, thanks for letting me know.

KS: What? [click]

Call #4 (8:42 PM EST)

Me: Hello?

KS: Chris?

Me: Yes.

KS: Hi. This is your secret agent calling. Someone filed a complaint on the internet saying that you were getting phone calls from an unknown number.

Me: Yeah, I was, but it was just my doctor, so its cool.

KS: No, we're sending some agents over to your house. They'll be there in five minutes.

Me: Okay.

KS: [click]

Call #5 (8:46 PM EST)

Me: Hello?

KS: Chris, this is your special agent calling again. Those agents aren't coming anymore.

Me: Oh, okay.

KS: The police are surrounding your house because someone told them that you have a gun.

Me: What?

KS: You need to come outside with the gun in the next thirty minutes or they're going to burn down your house.

Me: Really? I should get outside, I guess.

KS: Yes. If you come out with the gun, you will only get four years in jail.

Me: Okay, that seems like a fair deal.

KS: Yes, you need to go outside.

Me: Okay, I better get going.

KS: [click]

Call #6 (8:49 PM EST) and Call #7 (8:51 PM EST)

Listen to them simultaneously overtop of each other



Call #8 (9:15 PM EST)




-----------------

And thus concluded Saturday's chat with Dr. Finkelstein.

BONUS Sunday Chat!!!

Call #9 (3:38PM EST)

Me: Hello?

Dr. Finkelstein: Chris?

Me: Yes.

Dr. Finkelstein: Chris, this is your doctor calling.

Me: Dr. Finkelstein?

Dr. Finkelstein: Yes. I was calling to tell you that there's a medicine that you can get that will help you with your crack addiction.

Me: I'm interested in that. Where can I get it?

Finkelstein's assistant in the background: Walgreen's.

Dr. Finkelstein: Walgreen's.

Me: Cool. I'll head there now.

Finkelassistant: Get two of them.

Dr. Finkelstein: Make sure you get two of them, because you'll need a lot.

Me: Thanks, doc.

Dr. Finkelstein: Just make sure you take two of them every night.

Me: Okay.

Dr. Finkelstein: And make sure you have them with a glass of water!

Me: Okay, thanks, Doc.

Dr. Finkelstein: [click]

Call #10 (6:17PM EST)

Me: Hey, doc.

Dr. Finkelstein: [click]

Office Water Cooler #1

Topic One: How do you respond if a co-worker follows their sneeze with an "Owwwww!!!!!"

Me, I just ignore it.

Discuss below.