I didn't do much on Saturday night, but here's what did happen.
[Ring...ring.]
Call #1 (8:38 PM EST)
Me: Hello?
Kid Stranger: [rustling]
Me: Hello?
Kid Stranger: Who this?
Me: Chris.
Kid Stranger: [rustling]
Me : [click]
Call #2 (8:40 PM EST)
[I don't answer.]
Voicemail from Kid Stranger: Chris? [click]
Call #3 (8:41 PM EST)
Me: Hello?
KS: Hello?
Me: I think you have the wrong number.
KS: Is this Chris?
Me: Yes
KS: Chris, this is your doctor calling.
Me: Okay.
KS: I was calling to, uh, tell you, uh, that you have a high blood pressure.
Me: Okay
KS: And that's not good.
Me: I know.
KS: [rustling]
Me: Okay, well, thanks for letting me know.
KS: What? [click]
Call #4 (8:42 PM EST)
Me: Hello?
KS: Chris?
Me: Yes.
KS: Hi. This is your secret agent calling. Someone filed a complaint on the internet saying that you were getting phone calls from an unknown number.
Me: Yeah, I was, but it was just my doctor, so its cool.
KS: No, we're sending some agents over to your house. They'll be there in five minutes.
Me: Okay.
KS: [click]
Call #5 (8:46 PM EST)
Me: Hello?
KS: Chris, this is your special agent calling again. Those agents aren't coming anymore.
Me: Oh, okay.
KS: The police are surrounding your house because someone told them that you have a gun.
Me: What?
KS: You need to come outside with the gun in the next thirty minutes or they're going to burn down your house.
Me: Really? I should get outside, I guess.
KS: Yes. If you come out with the gun, you will only get four years in jail.
Me: Okay, that seems like a fair deal.
KS: Yes, you need to go outside.
Me: Okay, I better get going.
KS: [click]
Call #6 (8:49 PM EST) and Call #7 (8:51 PM EST)
Listen to them simultaneously overtop of each other
Call #8 (9:15 PM EST)
-----------------
And thus concluded Saturday's chat with Dr. Finkelstein.
BONUS Sunday Chat!!!
Call #9 (3:38PM EST)
Me: Hello?
Dr. Finkelstein: Chris?
Me: Yes.
Dr. Finkelstein: Chris, this is your doctor calling.
Me: Dr. Finkelstein?
Dr. Finkelstein: Yes. I was calling to tell you that there's a medicine that you can get that will help you with your crack addiction.
Me: I'm interested in that. Where can I get it?
Finkelstein's assistant in the background: Walgreen's.
Dr. Finkelstein: Walgreen's.
Me: Cool. I'll head there now.
Finkelassistant: Get two of them.
Dr. Finkelstein: Make sure you get two of them, because you'll need a lot.
Me: Thanks, doc.
Dr. Finkelstein: Just make sure you take two of them every night.
Me: Okay.
Dr. Finkelstein: And make sure you have them with a glass of water!
Me: Okay, thanks, Doc.
Dr. Finkelstein: [click]
Call #10 (6:17PM EST)
Me: Hey, doc.
Dr. Finkelstein: [click]
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4 comments:
Wait a minute! You forgot the funniest one! Where the cops surrounded your house because they thought you had a gun and were going to burn your house down if you didn't come out.
shoot. editing now.
french inhaler, you are compromising your identity!
don't be silly. I obviously changed the names to protect the innocent. manipulating the audio file was tough, but I figured it out.
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