False Perceptions of Adulthood #1, #2 and #3

Over the last few weeks, in random unrelated conversations, I've stumbled upon various forgotten items. Items was a weird word choice, but I'm not in the business of fixing it just yet. Maybe in a future edit.

What I'm trying to say is that when I was a kid, I had these notions of what I'd be seeing a lot of once I turned into an adult. These assumptions were based mainly on Hollywood, but a few of them, I had convinced myself that they were happening on my own block or even in my own home, just barely removed from my peripheral vision.

So, I thought I'd tackle some of these as I'm reminded of them. I have three of them for today. I'll probably never do this feature again.

1. Ski masks - I'm pretty sure that my six year old self had one of these bad boys, but again, I might just be confusing myself with Dennis the Menace or some joker like that. That said, my vague recollection is that the ski mask didn't work as well as you'd expect. It seems like a impenetrable force, but I recall that whenever I took it off, it would essentially become a leaky bag of snow. I guess I never really paid attention to the adult fashion of winter when I was a child, but I'm sure that things were running rampant all over the place. I'd be really interested in wearing one of these things again. Just as my swimming trunks are filled with less sand when I return home from the beach these days, I'm sure that the interior of my ski mask would be equally less snowy. I refuse to accept that bank robbers have given these things a bad name. Bank robbers have been around forever and I'm certain that bank robbers and ski masks co-existed for centuries and centuries. Does anyone run a Sunny's Surplus or a gang? I'd settle for some pantyhose, even.
2. Cuckoo Clocks - As a kid, I was convinced that my grandparent's Grandfather clock (did that just blow your mind?) was actually a cuckoo clock and that I was just never around when the little bird popped out and walked around a bit. I wasn't tuned into the concept that the EVENT was to happen at the top of the hour. And every time that large bell in its chest cavity rang, it never occurred to me that the bell was the sole purpose of this clock. I just assumed it was an added perk. Anyhow, I thought my grandparents were even more special because of this clock. Cuckoo clocks seemed like something only a wealthy game hunter could own. I prayed that by the time that I was older, they'd be much more affordable to the common man. And that there'd even be watch-sized versions of them. And look where we really are...round wall-hangers with guitars or trains in place of each number, that resound with a distinct riff or toot at the turn of each hour. Color me disappointed in clock choices.
3. Telescopes that Spy On Neighbors - Look, don't get the wrong idea. I'm not one of these people. But, I'd at least like to have a buddy who did this sort of thing.

Alright! That was fun, right?