The Movies That I Saw In 2007

Hi Blog.

I got this idea from a Feminist Blog that I frequent.

Of the gazillion films released in the United States in 2007, I saw 20 of them. 8 were viewed in a real live movie theatre and the other 12 were watched in the comfort of someone's home. More often than not, that home belonged to me. Today, I'll simply list the latter and harp on the former. In most cases, I've forgotten nearly everything about the film, so I'll be dealing in vague generalities.

Anyhow, here's my top 12 films watched via DVD or Magic Download, sorta maybe in some order with the top 6 being significantly better than the bottom 6:

• Sunshine
  
• Zodiac
• Sicko
• Knocked Up
  
• Music & Lyrics
• Hot Fuzz
  
• Blades of Glory
• 28 Weeks Later
• The Simpsons Movie
• Spiderman 3
  
• Evan Almighty
  
• The Number 23

Evan Almighty, not very good, had my favorite moment. You see, this was one of those magic downloads that I watched at an acquaintance's house who does that sort of thing. Anyhow, it seems that the person who initially ripped this movie took a few liberties in order to try to make the movie a little more exciting. There was some boring scene in a bar, where you could see the Daily Show playing on one of the TVs. Well, all of a sudden, that particular TV goes fuzzy, and then this amazing technical genius replaced the original image with his tag and some silly non-sequitors. I think it might have just said Booyah!, but it was the most clever Booyah! that I had ever seen. I was also fearful that this meant that this movie now included some sort of computer virus, but was too giddy over Booyah! to care. At the end of the movie, I told this acquaintance to send $30 to Universal Pictures. He did and then I stopped being friends with him. I don't remember his name and I don't know how to find him.

I have also been renting an un-viewed The Wendell Baker Story from Netflix for over a month now. I'll watch it once I've computed that I've paid over $1000 for the privilege.

Okay, if you're still with me, we'll now move onto the multiplex views. I'll attempt to put them in order of best to worst:

• 300 - This was the worst movie that I've ever seen in my life. From the first time that I saw the trailer, I knew that there was never going to be a dumber movie available for my eyes. You see, my [then] 16 year old out-of-towner cousin came to visit earlier in the year. During his previous visit, he, our uncle and I went to see Nacho Libre, which itself is hardly in a position to be called even a guilty pleasure, but has now, nevertheless, been given a full pardon. When Cousin hit Baltimore again this time around, I knew that the three of us would be seeing another movie together. In my mind, the only thought that I had was "Please don't suggest 300. Please don't suggest 300." Obviously, he's a mindreader and since I couldn't walk out of the theatre, I purposely fell asleep for 20 minutes of the film, only to be awoken by some topless guy screaming something about Xerxes. I didn't find the green screened backdrops awe-inspiring. I thought the dialogue was god awful. And I had zero interest in that portion of dumb history, which seemed to be an opinion that I shared with the filmmakers. Booyah!
  
• Reno 911: Miami - My apologies to the Reno 911 crew for being second only to 300. My mother, the aforementioned uncle and I saw this one on opening day. One of the few Mitch Hedberg jokes that I never fully supported was one about sitcom characters, and how once any 30 minutes episode is over, you never find yourself saying, "I wish I could see that character for another 30 minutes." Well, this movie (and the Simpsons movie, for that matter) finally made me understand what he was talking about. It had a great deal of funny bits, but overall, it was probably 60 minutes too long. Plus the extended masturbation scene was maybe a bit uncomfortable.
  
• The Bourne Ultimatum - I went to see this one with my father and a different uncle. Two guys world reknown for forgetting every detail of every movie that they've ever seen. My dad was really excited to see this one, even though he had never seen the first two. So, even though I had only seen the first of the series, I felt like I was ahead of the curve. My uncle had seen them all! And while we waited patiently in our stadium seats, I asked him to give us a rundown on what happened in the last movie, to which he replied, "I have no idea." For a movie series about brainwashing, I couldn't think of a better target audience. Well, obviously, this has all rubbed off on me, because I have no clue what happened in this movie. There was a lot of running around and neck breaking and car bombs and switcheroos. As we left, my uncle found it in him to say, "It wasn't as good as the last one."
  
• Once - Whew, I finally got away from the family! I saw this with a friend of mine, upon her suggestion. I was out of the loop and it was only my glimpse of a plot outline an hour prior that gave me any clue of what to expect. I can't say that I loved it, but it certainly was worth my time. There was a lot of singing in it. They sang one song a whole lot of times. And at first, I didn't care for the song, but by the time that this street urchin type guy and his broken-vacuum girlfriend scrounged together a band and recorded the song during an all-nighter at the studio, I was really feeling it! Call me stupid, but I love those montages in musiccy movies where the band only has enough money for 8 hours of studio time, but they find a way to pull things together and make a kick ass record!
  
• American Gangster - Family! I didn't mean to see that last movie without you! I saw this one with the father. Denzel. Russell Crowe. Right in my dad's wheelhouse. An ex-girlfriend once described my father as a Russell Crowe type. And I have to agree. Just minus all the phone throwing and fist fights. One day, I imagine that I'll be a Russell Crowe type, myself. Yeah, I liked this one alright. What was it about? Some gangsters or something.
  
• Pan's Labyrinth - Since the aforementioned feminist blog already stole my bit about how its really tough to spell Labyrinth, its tough for me to find much else to say about this one, beyond that I feel bad for not seeing enough subtitles this year. Discounting Reno 911, this was obviously the most beautifully filmed movie that I saw this year. It was so beautiful that I've forgotten completely who I saw this with.
  
• The Darjeeling Limited - It didn't take much for Wes Anderson to fall out of my good graces, and The Life Aquatic did it for me. Not that it was an awful movie. And maybe when I get around to seeing it for a second time, I'll enjoy it immensely. And its not even that I entered that film thinking that Wes Anderson was impervious to imperfections. Against most of my friends' better opinion, I think that Bottle Rocket is pretty much a crappy movie. So, I went into this one with an Everything Goes Bagel attitude. Actually, knowing that Bill Murray had nothing more than a cameo and Mark Mothersbaugh did not do the music, I would call that EverythingGoesBagel-2. Five of us, including another cousin, drove to Bethesda to see this one. The showing that we were shooting for was sold out, so we decided to see the Arbutus sights, read some magazines and eat some potbelly sandwiches. There's so much more involved with this story, so I'll have to make a note to put it all in another blog sometime. Man, these build-ups are becoming increasingly larger than the reviews. Movie good.
  
• Superbad - Of course, the movie that I saw twice this year would be crowned my No. 1. Three of us went to see this the first time? I think? Definitely at least one cousin was involved. Whereas the above filmmaker has disappointed me in the past, the Judd Apatow crowd has yet to offer me a clunker. I mean, maybe I'll never watch Knocked Up or The 40 Year Old Virgin again, but I enjoyed them while I was there. My friend Ddot said that he cried at the end of this movie because it reminded him so much of our high school days. I don't remember us knowing that many girls, but otherwise, I probably agree with him. What made the movie even funnier was when I took my father to see it. I knew he would love it and in advance, I had picked out all of the scenes that I knew he would get all ROFLy over. Low and behold, I was dead-on and I heard him laugh maniacally and he slapped me on the shoulder at all the right moments. Typically, you don't picture Russell Crowe laughing and shoulder-slapping maniacally, but I respectfully ask you to reconsider.

This blog took me three point five hours to type. I'm really sorry.